sometimes , its not that i dont want to bother or am i trying to run away but then at least i know myself well enough , more than enough to understand . i dont find myself happy at all with this feeling in me , i dont feel blissful at all ): no , everything isnt what i wanted . you know it well and you know where i stand and where im coming from . i dont like the feeling . sometimes maybe ignorance is bliss and yes i agree . im tired , i really am ): at times , maybe i think that giving up will be good for all of us .

我的快乐会回来的

sometimes id rather be on my own than to have a shoulder for me to lean on .
sometimes things arent as easy as you think it is .
sometimes if i could turn time back to how things used to be , i guess things would be better .

time's passing very slowly as im up since 930 i think . wl is still bed .
i was just as relieved when she was back this morning from thailand . seeing her is just like the perfect remedy to anything for me . she never fails to be there , never fails cheer me up , never fails to share her everything with me first . she like a soul mate , the best ive ever knew . at times , things at home regarding me puts her in a very difficult position i know , i feel bad about it too but she never leaves me . she trusts me and i'll never let her down . i'll fight for my rights till the end i promiss . sometimes i just think that i'd rather stick with her than having a partner for myself , cos i know she'll be the best partner still (:

daddy is back in town , everything is still doing well , so far so good . he got me the perfume i wanted and my ysl foundation :D and thanks daddy gf for the coach bag :D though white and small , i like \m/

things arent going well for b and me . my moodswings and his thinkings . things just wont go right , the things he said , the way he made me feel . ive always wanted someone that stays arnd and not leave at any circumstances , someone that is willing to give in the me in all ways . but then i realise its not what i really wanted from the start . i felt so ... i dont know how i can use words to explain that feeling im feeling right now at this very moment . im happy that he's like that and finally ive found the one i wished for all these while . but somehow , the feeling isnt right , maybe its the time that we knew each other was still too short and we dont understand each other that well yet . i feel bad and terrible for treating his this way because its seriously not what i want from day one . i doubt my feelings for him myself . lying down looking at the ceiling , reminicing the times we spent together on our off day once a week , its sweet i admit , i was happy and i wished it would last for a little longer each time we're otw home . but i know it very well in my heart that each time i reach home i wont have the feeling of cravings of his text and msges . the same feeling i used to had 6 mths ago is back . im really very scared , afraid and dont wish to know what he has to say about this . he means something to me and he never fails to be there . though the time we spent is very very little , like only once a week and its only that one day we'll be able to meet up . hun , i know we're very upset about this but i just hope that we'll be able to go through this together uhs . hush hun , we'll go through this , im sure we will .

shut up laa .

i dont like everything around me now , bad bad bad . everything is bad alr . things change people change too ! wtf ): i wont let you have her , jolly well happy waiting then ! anything you wanna do you can go ahead , sue me or whatever , i no money i will also go borrow just to fight all the way with you . seriously speaking , we both know very well that you is want money and not the dog . you dont even have money now alr , you think you will want the dog ? LJ , dont alibaba ok . your dog lost , youre not even bothered to look for it , convince me that you'll be able to look after baby . __ off cos baby is mine ):

blogging with daddy's laptop now , weiling's coming back tonight . hms , im tired . come back soon and i need a break ): shit .