miss independant

bored , home alone at B's place , he's out with his mum , to report . while im home rotting while waiting for my hugs to come back (: i know nothings gonna happen but still IM worried ): somehtings wrong with my lappy already i think , wasnt able to come to blogger's site neither could i watch movie online just now . so continued reading the book i borrowed from albert :D nice book , yakuza moon , finally i got to read it :D sibeh power i swear !! 5/5 i'll rate :D ive never wanted to continue reading a book when ive done 3 pages but this book , im already on the 115th page (:

nth happened ytd thought , went home around 8 plus then watched bride wars at home , prepared and left the house with ken and baby , went to marina to collect things with ken then he sent me down to costa sands . met B there then went over to the chalet with him , felt so left out , none of the faces i knew . was on the book the whole night till bobby and wife came , laughed at bobby doing crazy stuns like setting the pit on fire and got all 15 hotdogs burnt :D lols !

B was busy the whole entire night entertaining everyone except me ): im sad , told me about his exgf . she pretty when i saw her :D at least she's prettier than me , felt worst , walked out with them to catch a cab home . on the journey home , didnt talk to B at all , something just didnt felt right ):

for a moment i felt as if B has somethings that he wants to say but i dont know either , he's been diff these days ): so distant alr ):

amk these few days , i havent gone home yet && i missed baby ): thought i hate her for biting me always . went home yesterday to change , saw her when i went up the stairs outside my room door , sibeh cute leyy , she tried reaching for me but she couldnt . 

schedule for the week , monday wednesday , thursday , friday , saturday and lastly sunday (:

yes , im only off on tuesday cos B's going for chalet so ahgirl put me off on tuesday (: lols , will be starting full time soon  , opening doors agns .

ok , im hungry , i dont wanna blog alr , maybe i will  , after i eat (:  LOVEYOU

everything is not right , nth is right . im wrong , so wrong , i dont know either , i dont know what happen -.- everything just came tumbling down like that . i didnt do you wrong but it sounded as if it was me but in the first place i didnt know anything . one again , i felt like a idiot , not only infront of you but just everyone . everything seems as though its repeating just that its a different person . i hate this kinda feeling , it sucks . ' im giving you a chance to tell me what happen again ' , ' no its not your fault ' , ' i dont want you to bluff me ' , ' dont cry , everythings gonna be alright ' EVERYTHING is repeating in my mind , i cannot calm down , its making me worst . one after another , its messing my mind up . first its the previous him then came my friend and now you , but theres also another girl . i dont know i really dont , I DONT UNDERSTAND , im not me anymore ):

at times , i think . is it wrong to treat someone too good , or is it wrong to fall for that someone that treats you good . whats right and whats wrong , i really dont know . feelings for you that makes me want to get close to you , feelings for you that made me feels as if we knew each other for so long that one day when get old , i'll want to reminise the past with you . but everything just isnt going the right way i wanted , everything just isnt correct at all .

theres just too much more to say , i dont wish to say it anymore . 

ive fallen , and i'll stand , i promiss .

its been pretty long since ive last blogged . didnt have the mood to do it either i guess , many things happened . previous posts have all been deleted too . unhappy past , shit reputation , today onwards will be a new me . YOU will GET OUT OF MY LIFE ! thanks for all that youve done that made me this state . you will never be the one i will wake up and think of anymore , not the one that will make me tear anymore . your lies , you acts , your honeyed words , i feel so disgusted by you , now that youre out of my life , we'll remain as it is , from now till the end of time , i will not regret my decision for giving up , i will not turn back to reminise of our past , your memory will be deleted , OUT OF MY MIND :D

yes yes , ive been cheated agns ): one after another , my retribution i guess , i used to be the bad one ok (: at least i was once the bad one !! HAHA :x im bored , waiting for my time to go out , phone phone , please ring :( im cold , controller is far , baby's cuddling beside me , how sweet . growing up day by day , she's getting bad yo ! but i still love :D haha . ok , i cant wait anymore , i shall go out first :D alios ! update some other time :D